Butterflies in January

I was in college and although I wasn't a harp major, my teacher asked me to join in the other harp-major quintet to perform in the major recital of the year.  Not only was I playing with the harp majors, but the piece we were playing was composed by one of the most well-known harpist in the harp world.  AND he was going to be in attendance that night.  If that weren't enough pressure, I had a small small solo in the very beginning.  It wasn't difficult, and in fact I learned it right off and began to tackle the more difficult remainder of the piece.

The night came.  Our five harps were set up in a semi-circle and we walked out on stage and took our seats.  Could we say my heart was pounding and a whole ramble of butterflies in my stomach, trying to escape?  We began our piece and my turn came for my itty bitty solo.  What came from my harp was a discord, mumbled, jumbled mess.  It was as though every single one of my fingers were on the wrong string.  I wasn't sure what to do, so I just stopped playing.  Luckily the next soloist jumped in with her part.  I had just flopped in front of hundreds of people, my fellow harpists, my professor, and the very composer.

I learned something very valuable, however.  Those few simple measures I was so confident about should have had my attention as much as the remainder of the complicated piece, and it certainly didn't keep me from playing again.  

Recently I was asked to participate in a miniature version of Project Runway called Project Play and Run.  Every time I thought about it I would get butterflies in my stomach and my heart would be a bit faster [just take a look at who I'm up against], which meant I was being challenged, which is what we all need sometimes.  Those ruts get awfully comfortable, cozy and easy, you know?  Each week we are given a new challenge [that is if I don't get voted off immediately] that we interpret and come up with a look for a child that falls within the theme of the week.  I'm excited.  And nervous.  But I do love a good challenge, even if I fall flat....on my fingers.