I look to my right and see this:
And then I laugh. I know the ocean will always be there. It is a constant of peace, serenity and beauty. I also know that my girls change daily. The humorous conversations I have with them about trivial (to me, certainly not to them) matters are fleeting. I enjoy discussing the little whys of life, because, for now, they are easy to explain. And, they accept my explanations...well, usually. I love that I can fix most anything major with a band-aid, which we keep in great stock. I like doing three heads of hair in a row, my way of creating order out of chaos. There will always, always, always be things that annoy, frustrate, and anger us. Always. I am trying to practice, because it is not immediately achieved, reveling in the good and releasing the bad. I'm trying to choose the sometimes messy and loud for now, because it won't always be a choice.
Katy, I love your words and perspective! Keep it up. You inspire me. Ilove the kids all over Ryan!
ReplyDeleteI cried when I read this. Because of the beach and because of that picture with your words. And because I just sent Lucy off in a fit of anger to her room. There will ALWAYS be things like that, I guess I should resign myself to this truth and just begin practicing, like you, reveling in the good.
ReplyDeleteI love the picture of the girls and Ryan. I, like Jordan, am going to try following your example and try to focus more on the good.
ReplyDeletewith rather head-strong and contrary children, its hard for me to see the good. i look at your beach picture and i see serenity and tranquility. i look at a picture of kids all over and i just get tired...
ReplyDeletetheories aside, how does one focus on the good? i want real examples.
i have a new favorite question for my kids that you may enjoy asking each of your girls (including azure): what was your favorite part of this day and why?
it seems to be very satisfying for ethan to reflect a moment on what he has just experienced and then to express himself. its a good skill to have, to be thoughtful. perhaps its a way to instill gratitude too. his answers are pretty predictable to me... so far...
An example of focusing on the good, not bad is this: Olive will come to me with her whiney voice, asking for a treat. I respond, "first, turn off your whiney voice. did you go potty?" "yes" "good job!sure! let's get you a treat!"
ReplyDeleteAlso, thanks to my sister, we've started the naughty spot. Instead of sending them to their room, they must sit in a specific spot. Pearl has a tendency, when she's really mad, to kick the door or floor. Instead of re-scolding, we simply go in without saying anything, move her back to the naughty spot over and over until she stays. I must say it's working quite well. I don't get my angry feet on to go stomping in to scold her even more for tantrums.
I'm going to start your "best part of the day" question. I like that.
hmmm. i think i already do that. i need something more potent. the blog has been a great way for me focus on the positive, actually. its pretty hard to capture the whining and the harrassment. hope you are well.
ReplyDeleteHi Katy,
ReplyDeleteBeautiful views left and right! You might want to read Ann Morrow Lindburgh's "Gifts From The Sea" in all your 'spare time' while at the beach. Perfect backdrop for that book of course. Have you already read it?
Love,
Dad